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One of the initial steps on how to survive an affair is to get control over your emotions concerning yourself, the affair and your partner. Become more forgiving to yourself first. Give yourself some time to heal. Blaming yourself over your failed marriage will only lower your self esteem and might actually stop you from being whole once again. Be forgiving of your partner too. He might have his reasons why he cheated on you. Think of his affair as a challenge to put your relationship to rights. It might be that you have neglected him or that you have been doing things that have also hurt him. Having an affair might be your husbands way of getting your attention. Forgive him so you can let go of the emotional backlash of his affair. Remember that it is not the end of the world. Some couples report that their love is stronger the second time around.